Managing your critical voices part 4

The top seven ways to manage the critical voices in your head

• Notice it. Sounds very simple and yet becoming an observer to the dialogue in your mind will dis-empower it. All that is required is that you notice when the voice starts and what it is saying and pay attention as if you are a fly on the wall listening in.
• Assume that it is positive Once you have noticed it I invite you to engage with the critical voice assuming it wants something positive of good for you. Start by saying “Hello and thank you” then ask it what it is trying to bring to your attention, or how it wants to help you. Once it gives you the answers remember to say thank you.
• Replace it Once you have noticed a critical thought or voice, you can immediately replace it with another thought or comment that is much more constructive, helpful or supportive to you.
• Remain neutral. Like in the playground, the bully is always looking to elicit a response from their victim, and when you don’t respond they leave you alone. Similarly with your critical voice, as you learn not to respond emotionally to it, it will also leave you alone.
• Agree and exaggerate next time you notice a critical voice agree with it, exaggerate it to the point of ridiculousness, take it to the point of farce when a smile breaks over your face or you giggle at the lunacy of what the critical voice was trying to suggest before.
• Give the voice a character the voices in our head often seem to belong to no-one, next time you hear it create a cartoon character that the voice belongs to. Your goal is to make the character as ridiculous as possible, give it a curly wurly nose, our wobbly ears or anything so that when you notice the character that was being critical it is impossible to take it seriously.
• Change the voice as you next notice your critical voice, pay attention to the qualities of the voice rather than what it is saying. These could include

• Pitch
• Tempo
• Volume
• Rhythm
• Tonality
• Timbre
• Location
• Distance
• Clarity
• Duration
• Stereo/ mono or surround sound

As you notice the qualities of the voice then change them, make it quieter, move the source further away, make it softer and more melodic, as you notice the changes notice how you feel differently, make all the changes you need to make so the critical voice can no longer elicit a negative response from you.