Do you need a mentor or coach?

Many dentists are often stressed, overwhelmed or even fearful, their careers or personal lives are not as fulfilling as they had anticipated. Unfortunately for most GDP’s they don’t recognise that they need help and support and if they do, don’t know where to turn to find what they need.

When dentists do become aware that their life or practice is not as happy or rewarding as they want it to be they will seek further clinical skills training courses. Developing your clinical skills is a very important aspect of career development, however it will seldom resolve the feelings of stress, overwhelm, fear, confusion, unhappiness, or resentment that many dentists experience. 

A client recently told me "I wish I had met you 3 years ago, I would have saved myself so much stress and money and would not have sold my practice. I have done a masters and now I recognise what I needed was a coach not another degree. Why wasn't I told about how coaches can help?" 

MJ Dentist London

Another strategy, that is on the increase, is for dentists to share their bad experiences on social media. I am sure that it is comforting to know that others have had similar or even more terrible ordeal with their patients, their boss, their associate or the GDC. Unfortunately, for most, this approach will not resolve the underlying problems although it may make you feel better knowing other people have similar experiences. 

Outside healthcare and dentistry and in the corporate workplace it is common practice for people with jobs that carry a lot of responsibility, decision making, high potential for stress, such as managers from middle and senior management levels, to have coaches to support them. Working with a coach ensures that people are able to perform at their best. In industry and other commercial sectors, when professional and personal development are priorities, coaching and mentoring is considered as a first-line development intervention and also subsequently if there are performance, behavioral, management or communication improvements that could be made. Unfortunately, whilst coaches and mentors are commonplace in the wider workplace, they are still relatively unknown and under-utilized within dentistry.

The terms coach and mentor are often used interchangeable and whilst complementary to one another, they have significantly different approaches. Both coaching and mentoring have a place in helping you make progress, and to be assured of achieving the best result, it is worth taking some time to understand some of the crucial differences. 

Mentors provide advice, guidance based on the mentors'  experience. This approach may incorporate advising, consulting or a coaching approach. It should be stressed, the approach your mentor has taken may not be appropriate for you, because your circumstances, beliefs, values and aspirations will differ from your mentors’. You mentor will answer the questions you ask of them directly, “What would you do?” or “How did you do it?”, with the intention that their experience will help you.

In a coaching relationship, the focus of each session is driven by you, you outcomes and your unique personal situation. Instead of offering guidance from their experience, your coach will draw on their coach-specific skills and training to unlock your knowledge, capabilities and answers. Your coach may ask you, “What do you think are your choices and which is the best one for you?” or “What needs to be considered to ensure you get the best outcome?”

The International Coach Federation (ICF) defines coaching as “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.” This is achieved by a process of helping you set your own goals and action plans. You coach will hold you accountable and crucially give you the space and framework for constructive thinking and decision making. Coaching is powerful because “Give a man a fish he can eat for a day, teach a man to fish and you feed him for a life-time”

Coaching is for you if you find yourself in one of the following situations,

• ·         Something urgent, compelling or exciting is at stake (a challenge, stretch goal or opportunity) 
• ·         A gap exists in knowledge, skills, confidence or resources
• ·         A desire to accelerate results
• ·         A lack of clarity with choices to be made
• ·         Success has started to become problematic
• ·         Work and life are out of balance, creating unwanted consequences and stress
• ·         Core strengths need to be identified, along with how best to leverage them

Coaching is much more that a colleague to colleague conversation, it will have a structured approach. What to expect from a coaching session,

Setting the Foundation

·      Meeting Ethical Guidelines and Professional Standards

·      Establishing the Coaching Agreement

Co-creating the Relationship

·      Establishing Trust and Intimacy with the Client

·      Coaching Presence

Communicating Effectively

·      Active Listening

·      Powerful Questioning

·      Direct Communication

Facilitating Learning and Results

·      Creating Awareness

·      Designing Actions

·      Planning and Goal Setting

·      Managing Progress and Accountability

A mentor is appropriate if you want guidance, support and insights from someone who’s been where you are and is now where you one day hope to be. However, if what you need is a trained and experienced confidante to provide, space, insights, accountability and to partner with you on your journey to achieving your goals, a professional coach is the person who you will want and need at your side to unlock your potential. If you find someone who can be both a mentor and coach they will be like a magic wand to help you get from where you are to where you want to be,

NLP (Neuro-lingusitic programming) is a specialist area of expertise that is used by some coaches, that has been shown to accelerate results. A Master NLP coach will be particularly useful if you are thwarted, blocked or paralyzed in your progress by worry, anxiety, phobias, lack of confidence, pain, inability to make decisions, self-doubt, grief, addictions PTSD, etc. Your NLP master practitioner will be paying attention to and noticing your non- verbal and verbal communication cues and because of this they will have an awareness and understanding of both your conscious and subconscious thought patterns. The approach and interventions used by your NLP master practitioner will depend on your unique situation and will be an excellent adjunct to working with your coach. After a session to deal with a 'worry worm' a client recently said, "Wow that feels so much better my mind is now completely clear and I feel so much lighter." 

Dr Jane Lelean is a Dental Business Coach, Mentor and Trainer who is accredited by the International Coach Federation as a Professional Certified coach and is a Master NLP practitioner. If you would like to discover how coaching, mentoring and NLP can assist you in overcoming, habits, fears, phobias and anxieties, through challenges, hardships, and frustration to creating a compelling future, achieving your goals and becoming confident, happy and free, call Jane on 07989 757 884 or e mail Jane@iodb.co.uk to set up an initial conversation.

We look forward to hearing from you soon.