Social needs – The key to unpicking motivation

Social needs – The key to unpicking motivation

 

When you understand your social needs or social needs of a team member or patient, you have the key to so much more.

 

Social needs determine what we need from other people, predict our greatest fears, and drive our unconscious behaviours.

 

You may be thinking, how do I discover this  valuable information, the exciting news is that everyone, including you, is broadcasting their social needs all the time. It is just that you haven’t been taught how to read the messages.

 

Social needs can be divided into primary needs and secondary needs. One is not better than the other, they all have light sides and shadow sides. Your needs make you, and everyone else unique, no better or worse than others, just individual. Your social needs form one element of your individual communication dialect,  and when someone else recognises and can speak it too, leads to deep lasting communication and understanding.

 

Just imagine what is possible when you learn to recognise and communicate with your team members and patients in this way.

 

Primary social needs tell you the question that is at the forefront of someone’s mind all the time, they will reveal their secret fears. So, what are they? 

 

·      Significance

·      Approval

·      Acceptance

Let’s look at them in turn.

 

Significance

 

If someone has significance as a primary social need, they need to feel significant all the time and have their significance confirmed by others.

 

Their primary question is “Do others see me as significant, important and making and impact?”

 

How are they recognisable?

 

Significance people stand out, bright  clothes, obvious wealth indicators such as watches, cars, technology etc. They  are often loud, talking about their achievements and  are comfortable standing out. People with this social need want to run meetings and to be in-charge. They are generally easy to spot.

 

Shadow side

 

 

The shadow side of  significance need people is that they can be overbearing, controlling and not give others a chance to participate or contribute. Tendency to to be a high demanding dictatorial style leader and at worst a bully. Can be very heavily target driven.

 

How do you communicate?

When speaking with people with a high social need, it is best to talk about how they will stand out and get recognition for their contribution.

 

Approval 

 

If someone has approval as a primary social need they constantly are seeking and need permission and recognition. 

 

Their primary question is “Do others recognise me and give me permission to be or do . . . . ?”

 

How are they recognisable?

 

Approval  needs people are generally self-deprecating, appear to be seeking compliments. They can often change their opinions to fit with the company they are keeping. Approval people are candidates for imposter syndrome and can overcompensate, being more smartly dressed, have more qualifications etc than others. Tend to be  agreeable conflict averse, accepting of poor service standards, will drink and eat food they don’t like to avoid causing offence. Approval people will often carry tissues, pain relief, etc in case someone else needs them.

 

Shadow side

 

The shadow side of  approval need people is that they can be needy, constantly seeking approval that they are enough, they have made the right decisions and their work is good enough. Approval need people can also be indecisive, or  inconsistent changing their minds depending on the company they keep, so it can be difficult to know where you stand with someone who frequently changes their mind. Progress can be slow, as constantly seeking approval.

 

 

How do you communicate?

When speaking with people with a high social need for approval it is best to fill their need by giving compliments, approval, and reassurance so they feel secure, they will love you for it.

 

 

Acceptance

 

If someone has as a primary social need for acceptance they want to feel in with the in crowd, part of a group or a tribe. 

 

Their primary question is “Do I belong?”

 

How are they recognisable?

 

Acceptance needs people will wear branded clothes, badges, ties that show their allegiance or membership of an organisation. In conversations,  they will tell you about the groups they belong to and the group activities they are involved in. Acceptance need people are likely to be part of a group of volunteers or members of protest groups. Acceptance need people, have strong sense of community and acknowledge others who appear similar with eyebrow raises, special handshakes or flashing headlights to drivers of the same car as them.

 

Shadow side

 

The shadow side of  acceptance need people is that they can be get involved with the wrong crowd, get mixed up with things that they should have stayed away from. People with a high need for acceptance can also appear inconsistent as they may feign conformity to fit in. In a leadership position can keep changing direction to fit in with others.

 

How do you communicate?

When speaking with people with a high social need for acceptance it is important to tell and show them how they fit in, they want to hear that they are similar and belong.

 

 

As you consider these three primary social needs, significance, approval, and acceptance, which one do you recognise as dominant in you? How is this serving you well, how, and when does it sabotage you?

 

What about your team, what is the mix you have and how do you need to speak to them differently to bring the best out of them?

 

Finally, your patients, how does recognising their primary social need alter the way you escort them on their patient journey and discuss treatment with them?

in another article we will explore secondary social needs.

 

If you would like to learn more about this fascinating subject and learn more about  effective communication book a SPEAK WITH JANE call www.IODB.co.uk and we can discuss the training workshops, 1-2-1 coaching and in-house programmes we offer.

Fear is a friend that is mis-understood

Dentists are stressed, many are suffering from lack of confidence, imposter syndrome, burn out, and if they have not left the NHS or the profession, they are thinking of doing so. Sound familiar?

 

As a society we have become hypnotised with the belief that anxiety and fear are a bad, they must be fought and overcome. It is exhausting waging war on our feelings and the many critical voices in our head all day every day.

 

As anyone told you your inner critic is actually your biggest ally or shown you how to befriend them for a peaceful life?

 

I have been offering therapeutic coaching for over 17 years, working with people, maybe like you, debilitated by inner critical voices, paralysed by anxiety, who are at their wits end, unable to sleep, some using prescription meds, others alcohol, sugar, drugs to drown out the constant internal criticism and fear that they are not good enough, frequently in tears, unable to cope. Some are just about to throw the towel in and give up on their training and a career they once loved. 

 

 In 100% my clients they discover that that fear is a friend that they have misunderstood. 

 

The fear and anxiety they were fighting and trying to shut down, was their inner wisdom trying to keep them safe. Once they learn how listen, and make friends with the fear, resoling all misunderstandings and miscommunications, the anxiety and fear vanish never to return, enabling my clients to move on with their lives, happy and free to dispense with the drugs and disabling habits they relied on previously. 

 

Breathe imagine, see, and feel what it is like liberated from fear and anxiety, listen to the quiet, encouraging voice in your head that gives you time to think. Lovely, isn’t it?

 

If you would like to discover what therapeutic coaching can do for you, book a taster session or a FREE CALL FRIDAY appointment. www.IODB.co.uk use the speak with Jane button to access our appointment book.

 

As soon as you are sick of anxiety, fear, or imposter syndrome, and  have decided that you want to  make friends and be free, get in touch, together let’s make the change.

 

How does the drama play out in your practice?

How does the drama triangle play out in your practice?

 

• Who has the behaviour of the rescuer triggering behaviours of victim or persecutor in others?
• Who has the behaviour of the  victim triggering behaviours of rescuer or persecutor in others?
• Who has the behaviour of the  persecutor triggering behaviours of victim of rescuer in others?

 

This is about behaviours and never identity.

 As individuals, when under stress we behave in ways that may not always be the best versions of ourselves and because we cannot not influence others, our behaviours trigger behaviours in others.

Dental practices can be places of high stress and conflict, whether it is for patients or team members. 

As the leaders, one of your many roles is to diffuse conflict and build quality relationships

I invite you as leaders and as a team to step back and observe the dynamics at play. Who plays which role when?

 

Typical behaviours and traits

The rescuer does not recognise another person’s ability to help themselves

Appear self sacrificing

Can be over helpful and controlling

Like to feel needed

 Prone to interfering 

 Can be overbearing

The victim does not value themselves or recognise their own ability to help themselves.

Defers to others to find the solution.

Manipulative 

“Poor me” syndrome

Helpless and needy

Complains and whinges

Worrisome and fretful

Downtrodden

Blames others

The persecutor doesn’t value the other person’s views or integrity

Openly or passively angry

Aggressive

Judgemental

Bullying

Demanding

Critical, spiteful

Judgemental

Intolerant

Sharing this idea with your team, enables you all to bring behaviours and how they trigger others out of the blind spots in to conscious awareness, so you all have the potential to be the best version of yourselves and high functioning team.

 

If you recognise that relationships and interactions in your practice are not as healthy as they could or should be and would like some insights into how to improve them, you can book a 1-2-1 coaching call with Jane

 

Use our online booking system www.theinstituteofdentalbusiness.co.uk

Your success is our business

The simple solution to managing staff absence.

The simple solution to managing staff absence.

 

                  

Staff sickness and absenteeism is disruptive to your practice. It can lead to resentment within the team, adversely affect patients, treatments you are able to provide, have financial implications if you are paying for locums and it causes you undue stress worrying about how to manage it and be fair to your team.

 

You were taught how to fix teeth not how to manage staff sickness, build team morale or create a culture.

 

The Bradford score is a simple Key Performance Indicator (KPI) that gives you and easy to use framework that enables you to know when to intervene and when not to. The Bradford score gives a rating to the potential disruption of absence on your business and give you a framework to use when having a conversation with a team member.

 

Before I explain how to calculate Bradford scores, it is important to remind you that the culture that you create within the practice has a massive impact on absence. When you have actively created a culture  where your team want to be at work because they feel valued,  what they do is purposeful  and they are well remunerated, they will want to be in work. Conversely if the culture is one of distrust, no appreciation, no purpose, low wages,  your staff will look for reasons not to come in. There is an often-used phrase, people don’t quit a job they leave a boss.

 

Assuming you have a practice culture that cultivates true teamwork, health and wellbeing, but you also have absences, the Bradford score is a useful tool.

 

The Bradford score formula

B = (S X S) X D 

B = Bradford Score

S = Total number of absence instances or spells over a set period (usually 52 weeks)

D = Total number of days of absence over a set period (usually 52 weeks) 

 

Scenarios

Nurse A          one day absence for 12 days in a three-month period

S = 1 D=12

B= (1 x 1) x 12 = 12

B=12

 

Nurse B          4 instances of absence, each 3 days in a three-month period

S = 4 D=12

B = (4X4) X 12= 192

B=192

 

Nurse C          7 incidences of absence totalling 12 days.

S=7 D=12

B= (7x7) X 12 = 588

B=588

 

From these examples you can see that with the same number of days absence, 12, the Bradford score is different, reflecting the disruptiveness to the practice.

 

How do you use this score?

 

The Bradford score is a useful KPI that you use to track absenteeism that you can use to have a conversation with a team member to support them in improving their health and well-being or if need be managing them out of the business.

 

Having a culture that supports health and well-being combined with a transparent predefined approach to managing absence will assist you and your team moving forward; reducing disruption, resentment and stress, enabling you to build a healthy happy team.

 

Use the tables below and if you would like further assistance dealing with building a healthy practice culture or managing absenteeism, please book a SPEAK WITH JANE appointment www.TheInstituteofdentalbusiness.co.uk

 

All that really matters is your team and practice are healthy and happy. Together we can make it happen.

If 2022 were a wave, what sort of wave would it be?

How has 2022 been for you?

For many it has been turbulent and they have felt like they are a wave in a storm being crashed against the rocks?

If 2022 were a wave, what sort of wave would it be?

What wave would you like to surf in 2023?

In 12 months times, as you approach December 2023 how would you like your wave to reach the shore?

We can use the WAVES to plan a successful 2023

W – Witness and Wonder = WITNESS what happened in 2022, consider your experiences and WONDER what could be possible in 2023. What will have to be true for you to consider 2023 a success?

A – Attention and Accumulate = pay ATTENTION to the skills you and your team need to develop, ACCUMULATE at team of people around you to support you. You cannot do it alone, success is a team event.

V-Venture. = Step out, widen your circle of experiences, you can take tiny step or big ones, it doesn’t matter, the key is that you VENTURE out and have new experiences. If you want different result you have to use new approaches.

E- Embrace and enrich. = EMBRACE the journey, it will have crests and troughs, there will be changes in wavelength and frequency, learn to surf, becoming comfortable with change, reflect from the highs and lows. ENRICH your skills, mindset, and development.

S= Scrutinise and Sustain. = Make time to SCRUTINISE you results, the good, the bad and the ugly. Be really honest with yourself and your team, what must you do and who must you be to achieve the outstanding results you want. Plan a plan to SUSTAIN yourself and those around you physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. You cannot function with a flat battery, discover what charges yours and look after your battery as well as or better than that in your phone.

Wave good bye to 2022 and welcome a successful 2023

Book a SPEAK WITH JANE call to discover how coaching, training and mentoring with Jane will make 2023 your best year yet.

www.theinstituteofdentalbusiness.co.uk