I have just had an end of coaching conversation with
a client with whom I have worked for several years. They have given me
permission to share their feedback and requested that I don’t share their name
or practice details.
Jane As
you reflect on our coaching journey what do you notice?
Client It is like you taught me to sail
Jane What
do you mean by that?
Client The
picture that come to mind is, before we were working together I was single handed
trying to sail a yacht. I was in the middle of a large ocean, sails flapping in
the wind, being buffeted by the wind and tide. I was going nowhere and if I
was, I had no control over the direction, I was exhausted, lonely, at a
desperation point
After coaching with you, I see
the boat in full sail, my hand on the tiller, going in the direction of my
choice. You have taught me how to harness the winds and waves of adversity and
use them to my advantage. I can now get to the destination I want in the direction I choose.
Jane Anything
else?
Client Your BPE was genius. I know ,
initially, I did everything I could to avoid it. When I did it was a revelation,
like looking in the mirror and seeing my practice warts and all. Only then was I able to stop denying that
there were cracks, acknowledge the dysfunctions, accept that the responsibility
to put things right was mine and get on with it.
You were so patient with me, now I look back I wish
I had done the BPE when you first suggested it, I would have saved myself so much
heartache.
Jane What
do you mean by that?
Client It
took me so long to commit to working with you, I think from the first e- mail I
sent, to our first session was 2 or even 3 years. At first I knew things were
not right in the practice and something had to change, deep down I knew you had
the answers. I then kidded myself that it wasn’t that bad, other dentists I knew
had similar stories, so I thought problems with staff, associates, money, never
having enough time was all normal. I told myself that what you suggested was to
expensive in time and money and dentists did not need coaches. I was scared of the truth.
Time went on and you kept in touch and little by
little things deteriorated, money got tighter, staff more difficult, and then
my wife said I had to get the practice under control, or she was leaving.
Jane So
your practice was affecting your home life?
Client Yes,
and I was in denial about that too. It was like I was a frog being boiled alive
and I was not aware the water was getting hotter.
Jane So
what changed?
Client
My wife offered and ultimatum, and I knew now was the time I had to bite the
bullet. The really annoying thing was, by now the finances were even tighter
and I had even less time, I had brought it all on myself. If only I had taken
the decision earlier, to quote you, I would have saved myself, time money as
stress. With my wife’s’ ultimatum ringing in my ears, I knew that now I could
not afford not to work with you.
Jane What
stands out about how we worked together?
Client
What didn’t stand out? Your workshops me
taught me so much. I had no idea how much I didn’t know about being a practice
owner. I thought because I knew about how to be a dentist, how to be a
principal was easy, how wrong was I?
The 1-2-1 sessions were essential. I seemed to lurch
from crisis to crisis and each and each session you helped me refocus, find
solutions and held me accountable for implementing the changes. I don’t know
what I would have done without having you there at the end of the phone when I
needed you.
The team sessions, the staff loved them, you were
motivational and somehow managed to take on ideas that when I suggested them,
they didn’t want to know. With them onboard it made my life so much easier.
Now
my practice is nothing like the one you visited years ago. Now we get along,
really support one another rather than paying lip service to team-work. The
patients have noticed the difference, they keep returning bringing others, I
have put my fees up, I have time off with my family and my wife and I now date
again. I have fallen back in love with my wife, my family, my practice and
dentistry.
Jane As you think back, what else do
you notice?
Client I remember our first few
conversations and I was banging on about, the numbers, the patients, what I
will get to show from paying for your coaching, would it be worth it, what
would be the ROI. All those things that you call the tangibles. As I think back,
yes, all those things have improved massively and it has been the intangibles
that have been the most important outcome from coaching with you.
Jane What do you mean by that?
Client The money and the hard, measurable
numbers are important and don’t get me wrong working with you has turned around
the practice. The intangibles, the things I can’t quantify, or measure have
been the most valuable and useful outcome.
Jane Tell me more?
Client KPI’s and performance plans are one
thing. What you gave me was the confidence and skills to do things my way.
Until we spoke I had no idea what my values were or any idea about the importance
of designing a practice culture, these things are never spoken about in
dentistry. On reflection, the work that
we did on values, culture, confidence, leadership etc formed the foundations
that enabled me to build my ‘new practice’
Jane New practice?
Client Yes, we may be in the same location
and the same name, and that is about it. I feel like my practice is like a phoenix
that has come out of the ashes.
Jane What would you say to someone
else in your position?
Client You are like Nanny McPhee?
Jane Nanny McPhee?
Client When a dentist needs you and do not want you they must engage you
and when they want you and no longer need you, they they must let you go. You
have taught them to sail on their own
Jane How will a client know they
need me and don’t want me.
Client They will use all the displacement
activities I did.
Jane Such as?
Client Well that is a list, and I suppose
you want me to be really honest?
Jane Yes please
Client Here goes then
· Deny there is a problem and pretend
everything is ok.
· Avoid anything that might make me
face reality, like your BPE.
· Work longer and longer hours.
· Blame failings on others in the
practice, using disciplinary procedures for things that were ultimately of my
making.
· Blame the system of the NHS, the
BDA, GDC anyone I could to avoid taking responsibility.
· Avoid any conversations with
staff, no staff meetings, cursory appraisals, avoid any socials, stay in my
surgery wherever possible.
· Not reply to your emails or
return your calls
· Using the excuses of not enough
time or money to avoid making a start.
Now
for some real honesty, I distracted myself from the truth about the practice by
drinking too much, obsessive attendance at the gym and many late nights on the internet,
anything I could do to avoid facing the truth.
Jane Thank you for your honesty.
There may be others who are in the situation you were. With your 20-20
hindsight what would you do if you had your time again?
Client Knowing what I know now. The best
thing I could have done is responded to your initial contact, done your BPE when
you first offered it, worked out a way to it make coaching fit into my schedule.
I should have prioritised my wife and myself by prioritising the fitness of the
practice. I was working for the practice rather than learn how to get the
practice to work for me.
Now I
know the excuses I made about not being
able to afford it were that just excuses, I spent about £650 a year on Costa
and probably almost 4K on takeaways. If I was prepared to make some minor
changes in my spending affordability would have been easy, after all your fees
are all tax deductible.
Whilst
I was in denial I also did not calculate the real costs of not making the
decision. the costs of lost treatment plans, lost patients, staff leaving and recruitment,
mistakes, stress, fall outs with my wife, the list goes on. I made a very
expensive mistake, not taking you on 2-3 years earlier than I did.
I was
the last to realise what was happening, all my team knew there were problems in
the practice, my wife certainly knew, my lab, suppliers, friends, everyone,
they were just all to polite to say anything. Back then, I am not sure I would
have listened if they did, I had my time again I would like to think I would.
I
hope that others have greater wisdom than me and rather than fabricating
excuses, like I did, they work through it with you and find a way to make it
possible. If my experience is anything to go by, it will only get worse not
better.
Jane Any
final comments?
Client It has been an awesome journey working
with you, and I could not have achieved what I have without knowing you are
there believing in me, showing me all the incredible things, I had no idea,
that I had no idea about. Thank you so much.
Jane It is my pleasure, as I say,
your success is my business and together we make your good practice great. I am
always here for you. Once a client always a client.
If any
aspect of this conversation sounds or feels familiar to you, get in touch.
If you would like to do the BPE, it is here.
